推@Bwaah?的没品洛奇段子转载翻译【剧透可能】

悲铃空幻

托尔维斯和贝因克依然是那么好笑

eternal

201.

Pihne: Did you know that when you break a bone it typically willheal back stronger than before.

Milletian: So, what you're saying is I should break every bonein my body until I become invincible?

Pihne:

Pihne: Milletian, no.

潘妮：你知道吗，如果你骨折了，它通常会比以前愈合得更强壮。

米莱西安：所以，你想说的是，我应该弄断我所有骨头让自己变得无敌？

潘妮：

潘妮：米莱西安，别。

202.

Marleid: Do you ever look at two people and wonder why theyhaven't kissed?

Piran: Every single day.

Cethlenn: Why are you looking at us?

马尔艾德：你有没有看着两个人然后疑惑他们怎么还没接吻的时候？

菲尔安：每一天。

凯赫林：你看着我们干吗？

203.

Beimnech: Don't worry, I will be here to make sure no onebothers you.

Milletian: Beimnech.

Beimnech: Yes?

Milletian: You're bothering me.

贝因克：别担心，我会在这里确保没人来打扰你。

米莱西安：贝因克。

贝因克：是？

米莱西安：你就在打扰我。

204.

Eiren: Among my various skills, I have an excellent gaydar. Ican determine if a person is gay with just a glance.

Milletian: Starlet has been in love with you for months.

Eiren: She what?

艾尔伦：在我掌握的众多技能中，有一个出色的同X恋雷达。我能只靠一瞥就判断出一个人是不是gay。

米莱西安：迪瓦爱上你已经好几个月了。

艾尔伦：你说她什么？

205.

Melwyn: *Eating a cinnamon roll*

Milletian: Cannibalism.

Melwyn: *Confused chewing noises*

梅尔文：*吃着肉桂卷*

米莱西安：同类相食。

梅尔文：*混乱的呛住咳嗽声*

（*cinnamon roll：指惹人怜爱、纯洁无辜、善良而通常身世悲惨的人）

206.

Milletian: Hey, can you help me with this zipper?

Altam: Of course!

Milletian: ...

Milletian: UP, Altam.

Altam: Right, sorry.

米莱西安：嘿，你能帮我解决一下拉链吗？

亚特：当然！

米莱西安：……

米莱西安：往上，亚特。

亚特：啊，对，抱歉。

207.

Ruairi: So if our plan goes poorly, where should we meet up?

Tarlach: The afterlife, I suppose.

鲁拉里：所以如果我们的计划进展不顺，我们该在哪里碰头？

塔拉克：我建议是下辈子。

208.

Bhatair: Let's break the windows, it's too hot!

Murielle: Or you could, perhaps, open them.

巴图鲁：我们把窗打碎吧，太热了！

米露尔：也许，或者你可以，打开窗。

209.

Milletian: *Looks at Talvish's clothes*

Milletian: Damn I wish I could pull that off.

Talvish, whispering: Go ahead.

Milletian: What?

Talvish: What?

Alternatively...

Milletian: *Looks at Beimnech's clothes*

Milletian: Damn I wish I could pull that off.

Beimnech: Go ahead.

Milletian: What?

Beimnech: You heard me.

米莱西安：*盯着托尔维斯的衣服*

米莱西安：干，真想脱了它。

托尔维斯（低声）：来吧。

米莱西安：什么？

托尔维斯：什么？

相对地……

米莱西安：*盯着贝因克的衣服*

米莱西安：干，真想脱了它。

贝因克：来吧。

米莱西安：什么？

贝因克：你听到我说的了。

210.

Milletian: I... I love you.

Llywelyn:

Llywelyn: This new found information is very intriguing. Please,tell me more.

米莱西安：我……我爱你。

卢埃林：

卢埃林：这个我刚得知的消息真是相当吸引人。拜托，告诉我更多。

悲铃空幻

每次鲁拉里和塔拉克的都这么地狱笑话

kafka

现在的赛况只有卢埃林没和扯衣服沾边

aozucat666

（扯掉贝因克的衣服）（TC到底打算什么时候开贝因克的签到）

月面仙子猫

笑吐了 贝因克集所有笑点于一身

eternal

211.

Cethlenn: The Milletian was running like youhad pulled a knife on them! What the hell did you say?

Beimnech: I love you.

凯赫林：米莱西安跑得像是你对着他拔刀了似的！你究竟TM的说了什么？

贝因克：我爱你。

212.

Pihne: What are you going to bring to the meeting?

Caswyn: My negative attitude and sparkling personality.

潘妮：你准备带什么去开会？

卡兹文：我消极的态度和张扬的个性。

213.

Talvish, to the Milletian: Take a break.

Talvish: The world won't stop turning but it'll still be therewhen you're ready.

Talvish: There's no shame in resting.

托尔维斯（对米莱西安）：休息一下吧。

托尔维斯：世界不会停止运转，但当你准备好了时，它还会在那。

托尔维斯：休息并不丢人。

214.

Beimnech: Ah, hello again. We really need to stop meeting likethis.

Milletian: Maybe we would, if you would stop breaking into myhouse!

贝因克：啊，再次问好。我们真的得别再像这样碰面了。

米莱西安：如果你可以别再闯进我的家里，我们当然能！

215.

Milletian: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’snothing there?

Cichol: Those are the ghosts of the spiders you killed before.

Milletian:

米莱西安：你有没有一些时候觉得身上有虫子，但那里又真的什么都没有？

锁孔：那是你以前杀掉的蜘蛛的幽灵。

米莱西安：

216.

Avelin: Altam, you have been observing the Milletian for 48hours now. What have you discovered?

Altam: People fall in love with them very easily.

Avelin: …An example?

Altam: Me.

艾薇琳：亚特，你到现在为止已经观察米莱西安48个小时了。你发现了什么？

亚特：人们能很轻易地爱上他。

艾薇琳：……举例？

亚特：我。

217.

Llywelyn: Remember when we said you were toofriendly all the time?

Milletian, making cup of tea: No I'm not.

Burglar: Two sugars please.

卢埃林：你记得我们曾说过你每时每刻都过于礼貌吗？

米莱西安（泡茶中）：没有。

小偷：加两块糖，谢谢。

218.

Milletian: You don't think we'll get in trouble for this, doyou?

Merlin: No, not a chance!

[Cut to Talvish scolding Merlin and the Milletian]

米莱西安：你确定我们不会为此而惹上麻烦，对吧？

梅林：不，绝对不！

【快进到托尔维斯训斥两人】

219.

Milletian: You're blocking the view.

Manannan: I am the view.

米莱西安：你挡住我视线（view）了。

马南南：我就是风景（view）。

220.

Melwyn : What are your interests?

Milletian : Your brother in myroom.

Melwyn: Excuse me?

Milletian: The sun and the moon. I love astrology.

梅尔文：你兴趣爱好是什么？

米莱西安：在我房间里的你哥。

梅尔文：抱歉？

米莱西安：太阳和月亮。我爱天文。

eternal

221.

Milletian: Everyone take this free time you have to clean upyour desk!

Milletian: Look at this place, half eaten food, fileseverywhere, pictures of your family-

Kanna: What’s wrong with pictures??

Milletian: If you love someone, you'll remember what they looklike.

米莱西安：所有人用现在的空余时间清理你们的桌子！

米莱西安：看看这里，吃了一半的食物，到处散落的文件，你们家人的照片——

卡娜：放照片怎么了？？

米莱西安：如果你爱某人，你会记住他们的样子的。

222.

Ruairi: Hey, my little brother chased a cat and got stuck in atree, could you come and help?

Fire department: Sorry, at the moment, we are only responding tofires.

Ruairi: Ruairi: Okay, I can do that. Gimme a sec-

Fire department: WE'LL RESCUE YOUR BROTHER!!

鲁拉里：喂，我的弟弟因为追一只猫被卡在了树上，你们能来帮忙吗？

消防：抱歉，目前我们只会处理火警。

鲁拉里：好，这个我会。给我一秒——

消防：我们会去救你弟弟的！！

223.

Bhatair: What animal do you think you could take in a fight?

Piran: I don't know, maybe a cat? Do I get prep time?

Bhatair: Yeah, but so does the cat.

Piran: Then no.

巴图鲁：你觉得你可以在战斗中打败什么动物？

菲尔安：我不知道，也许可以是猫？我有准备时间吗？

巴图鲁：当然，但猫也有。

菲尔安：那没我打得过的了。

224.

Milletian: So let's start by talking about the emotions you'refeeling right now.

Beimnech: Stabbing.

Milletian: Stabbing... isn't really an emotion, it's more ofan... activity. Which I hope you don't do to me. See, an emotion is more of afeeling.

Beimnech: Well, perhaps I'm feeling stabby.

米莱西安：那让我们开始讨论你现在感受到的情绪吧。

贝因克：捅人（stabbing）。

米莱西安：捅人……不能算是情绪，它更多的是……一种行为。是我希望你别对我做出来的那种。你知道的，情绪更多的是一种感觉。

贝因克：好吧，那我大概是感觉想捅人（stabby）。

225.

Merlin: Hey, are you okay?

Milletian: Yeah.

Merlin: You don't look okay...

Milletian: Then stop looking.

梅林：嘿，你还好吗？

米莱西安：还行。

梅林：但你看起来不怎么好……

米莱西安：那就别看。

226.

Milletian: Stab wound? You mean extra pocket!

Manus: None of you Milletians should be allowedoutside I swear to the gods.

米莱西安：刺伤？你是说额外的口袋！

马努斯：我对神发誓，我不会让任何一个你们这些米莱西安离开这个治疗所。

227.

Altam: Come on! You're not our babysitter!

Avelin: No I'm not. At least babysitters are paid for the thingsthey go through.

亚特：得了！你不是我们的保姆！

艾薇琳：我当然不是。至少保姆可以因她们的经历得到工资。

228.

Professor J: I just got a new notebook, what should I put in it?

Merlin: Spagetti.

Professor J: I'm taking suggestion from literally anyone butyou.

Treasure Hunter: Spagetti.

Professor J: I'm taking suggestions from anyone but you two.

Milletian: Spagetti.

Professor J: I'm no longer takingsuggestions.

教授J：我刚得了本新笔记本，应该在上面写点什么？

梅林：意大利面。

教授J：我在向除了你之外的随便一个人征求建议。

宝物猎人：意大利面。

教授J：我在向除了你俩之外的随便一个人征求建议。

米莱西安：意大利面。

教授J：我不会再问任何人建议了。

229.

Milletian: Perhaps I am already the undead, hauling my bodyaround this realm, haunted by the souls of the damned and the hungry who feaston my muscles and bones until I shall be dragged to hell once more.

Dilys: ...Once again, I don't know where that is on a 1-10 painscale.

米莱西安：也许我已经是亡灵了，拖着我的身体在这里，被诅咒和饿鬼的灵魂所困扰，他们以我的肌肉和骨骼为食，直到我再次被拖入地狱。

迪莉斯：……再说一遍，我不知道你说的能对应到疼痛表1-10的哪一级。

230.

Beimnech: Why are you looking at me through a fork?

Cethlenn: I'm pretending you're in jail.

Beimnech: ...Why?

Cethlenn: It's spiritually healing.

贝因克：为什么你透过把叉子看着我？

凯赫林：我在假装你被关在监狱里。

贝因克：……为什么？

凯赫林：这是一种精神疗愈。

kafka

这是一种精神疗愈（复读

eternal

贝因克衣服实装了，给老坑填点土【爬



231.

Milletian: How did you find me?

Merlin: I saw a giant explosion and thought"now, who could that be?"

米莱西安：你怎么找到我的？

梅林：我看到一个大爆炸然后想着“现在，谁会在那儿？”

232.

Beimnech: How do I make a date more romantic?

Fodla: Be mysterious.

[Later on a "date"]

Milletian: So, what are you planning?

Beimnech: None of your business.

贝因克：我怎么才能让约会更浪漫？

波德拉：带点神秘感。

【在之后的“约会”】

米莱西安：所以，你在计划什么？

贝因克：不关你事。

233.

Piran: I thought I was meowing at a cat for the past hour.

Piran: Turns out it was just the Milletian and I meowing at eachother from different rooms in the castle.

菲尔安：我以为刚刚我是在和一只猫“喵”了一个小时。

菲尔安：结果那是米莱西安然后我们在城堡的不同房间里互相和对方“喵”。

234.

Merlin: What are some cute things to callyour partner?

Starlet: Sugar.

Professor J: Honey.

Treasure Hunter: Egg.

Eiren: Flour.

Milletian: 1/2lb butter.

Culinary Artist: Stir and pour into a pan!

梅林：你们用什么可爱的东西称呼你的伴侣？

迪瓦：糖。

教授J：蜜。

宝物猎人：蛋。

艾尔伦：面粉。

米莱西安：1/2磅黄油。

厨师长：搅拌并倒入锅里！

235.

Kanna: Hey, is this seat taken?

Eirlys: Yes, this seat is for my best friend only.

Kanna, walking away sadly: Oh…

Eirlys: Y-you know I mean you, right?

Kanna: Oh!

卡娜：嘿，这位子有人了吗？

艾尔莉丝：是的，这个位子只给我最好的朋友。

卡娜（失落地走开）：噢……

艾尔莉丝：你——你知道我是指你，对吧？

卡娜：噢！

236.

Modern AU

[Milletian's phone starts ringing]

Merlin, looking to see who's calling: Lmao,you still call your dad "daddy"?

Milletian, answering the phone and makingdirect eye contact with Merlin: Hey, Manannan.

Merlin: *Chokes on drink*

现代AU

【米莱西安的电话响了】

梅林（看是谁的电话）：笑了兄弟，你还管你爸叫“爸比“？

米莱西安（回答电话并和梅林眼神对上）：嘿，马南南。

梅林：*被饮料呛住*

237.

Morgant: Win this one for justice.

Ruairi: FOR JUSTICE!

Morrighan: Win this one because I told you to.

Milletian: BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO!

达克罗德：战胜他，为了正义。

鲁拉里：为了正义！

茉莉安：战胜他，我跟你说的。

米莱西安：你跟我说的！

238.

[During G21]

Talvish: Milletian, I've tried things your way.

Milletian: No we haven’t.

Talvish: I tried it in my head and it didn'twork.

【G21期间】

托尔维斯：米莱西安，我已经尝试过你的方法了。

米莱西安：不我们没有。

托尔维斯：我在脑海里设想了，它没用。

239.

Milletian: I'm sensing a lot of judgement.

Llywelyn: I haven't said anything judgmental.

Milletian: Your face and posture says it all.

米莱西安：我感到我在被严重评判。

卢埃林：我没有说任何评判性的话。

米莱西安：你的表情和姿势说明了一切。

240.

Altam: Hey, can I get your autograph?

Milletian: Uh...sure?

Milletian:

Milletian: ...This is a marriage certificate.

Altam: I know, that's why you have to sign it.

亚特：嘿，你能给我个签名吗？

米莱西安：嗯……好？

米莱西安：

米莱西安：……这是张婚姻登记表。

亚特：我知道，这就是你得签名的原因。